Toyota's future model lineup, yesterday
Toyota’s future model lineup, yesterday

In the wake of early sales success with the Scion FR-S, Toyota has elected to expand its partnership with Subaru to include cooperative engineering on the next Corolla, Camry, and RAV4.

“Once we drove the FR-S, we realized that our cars just suck,” said Toyota spokesman Joe “Moe” Tetherball. “Sure, our vehicles are reliable, but let’s face it, they’re as boring as whale shit. So we figured it was time to farm out more of the work to Subaru. After all, we own 17% of them, and they have to do whatever we say. Watch this: Hey, Subaru! Subaru! Come here and polish my shoes.”

As with the Scion FR-S, Tetherball says, Toyota will maintain a strong influence over all aspects of the new cars.

“Subaru’s engineering involvement on these new cars will be limited to the engine, transmission, driveline, body design, suspension, ride quality, driving dynamics, safety engineering, interior styling, electrical systems and software, and trim selection,” Tetherball explained. “But the over-arching concept, which was to build a car about yay big, and another smaller one and another one that’s sort of like an SUV, that was done entirely by Toyota personnel. Aside from the way the cars look, feel and drive, they will be Toyotas through and through.”

Autoblopnik asked for a comment from a Subaru representative, who promised to get back to us as soon as he had Toyota’s permission.

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