A lot of people have asked me what I drive. Here’s my car: A specially-modified Dodge.
The automotive world was in shock yesterday when little-known parody site Autoblopnik.com failed to post a new story like it usually does on Thursdays.
“We were gobsmacked,” said General Motors spokeschief Pat Morrisey, speaking on the condition that we didn’t ask him to gel up his hair and sing How Soon Is Now. “We’ve started looking forward to the drubbings we receive from Autoblopnik. I fired up my computer Thursday morning expecting to see the usual tomfuckery, like a story about us making a Corvette that runs on ground-up children, or how the new Chevy Spark has such a narrow back seat because it was designed by a guy with no shoulders. At the very least, one of those lame-ass haikus. But all I saw was Monday’s story about Saab being sold to a high school student, which, let’s face it, was not one of their more original ideas. We’re very disappointed, and I’m speaking for the entire automotive industry when I say that.”
“I was really hoping they’d make another stupid joke about my name and job title,” said Ford’s PR Guy of the Interwebz, Scott “Full” Monty. “To fire up my web browser and see the same thing I did on Wednesday… I just can’t describe the intense sorrow I felt. It was like I died a little inside.”
Autoblopnik editor Otto Blopnik was not avaialble for comment, but his secretary personal assistant says he was busy with writing assignments that actually pay money.
“I don’t believe that for a second,” said Autoblopnik contributor Clifton Faghands. “He probably spent the day reading Sniff Petrol and wishing he could be even half that funny. It happens all the time.”