There was much cursing in foreign-sounding languages at today’s Los Angeles Auto Show after formerly-British automaker MINI realized they had revealed the wrong car to the press.
“Our plan was to introduce the all-new third-generation MINI Cooper to the assembled journalists,” said MINI mini-spokesperson Nathalie Bathhouse, “but it appears that the car we put on stage was actually the second-generation model. Or maybe the first-gen. To be honest, we have a little trouble telling them apart ourselves.”
Bathhouse said the mistake was discovered shortly after the reveal, when a blogger no one had ever heard of asked why the new MINI’s turbocharged three-cylinder engine looked so much like a supercharged four-cylinder.
A search immediately ensued to find the third-generation MINI that was supposed to be revealed at the show. After several frantic phone calls, MINI staffers discovered that it was in the possession of by Gladys Carpfarter, a 67-year-old retired teacher from Pasadena, California. Bathhouse said the mix-up apparently occurred after one of the show cars was sent to the dealership for a preview last week.
“I went to pick up my car from the MINI dealership after having the oil changed,” Ms. Carpfarter told Autoblopnik. “I thought it was quite a bit cleaner than usual, but I never even guessed I had the wrong car until I opened the glovebox and discovered my Koupon Keeper was missing, along with my Glock G19.”
An attempt was made to return the show car to Mrs. Carpfarter, but a check of the VIN revealed that the vehicle from the L.A. show was actually a 2008 MINI Cooper S belonging to Bill Keeldover, a demolition accounting student from Azusa. Keeldover was driving a 2005 Cooper belonging to Fannie Slapper, a licensed poet from Bellflower, who turned out to be in possession of a 2010 Cooper S owned by William Schitzmore, an unemployed employment counselor from North Hollywood, who was driving Mrs. Carpfarter’s first-generation Cooper.
None of the affected owners realized they had someone else’s MINI.
“Obviously, we’re very embarrassed and want to be sure this doesn’t happen again,” said MINI spokesmini Bathhouse. “We’re very fortunate that of the hundreds of journalists who witnessed the unveiling, not a single one of them realized we were showing them the wrong car.”
Disappointed with the utility of the recently-released Cooper Coupe, MINI has announce a new less-useful version of the Cooper, which will go on sale in about 18 months.
“It’s no secret that the MINI Cooper Coupe failed to meet its targets for uselessness,” said MINI spokesrep Harold Fuctyerwyfe. “We thought removing the back seat while reducing trunk space by more than half was a remarkable technical achievement, but we inadvertently left enough room for a few grocery bags. That said, the rumors about a woman from Long Island fitting an entire suitcase into her MINI Coupe are patently false.”
The new MINI, reportedly called the Cooper Stupiduselessman, will have one door, a single seat mounted slightly crooked on the wrong side of the car, a six cubic inch trunk, and, according to Fuctyerwyfe, a roof that looks “even stupider” than the one on the Cooper Coupe.
“If anyone calls this new car useful,” Fuctyerwyfe told Autoblopnik, “I’ll kill my own children with an iron and a couple of slices of mortadella.”
Rumored automotive supersite Edmitts.com use their top-secret proprietary imaging software to prepare the composite photo at left, then had Ford fly a half-dozen of their best journalists to Reykjavik to test the new Lamborghini Aventador, citing the fact that since both Lamborghini and MINI have two I’s and an M in the name, this would give them “a pretty clear picture of how the new MINI will drive.”
Asked about pricing, Fuctyerwyfe told Autoblopnik, “We’re not ready to make an announcement, but we expect to follow the pricing model established with the Coupe, charging more for the added uselessness. The new car will be priced somewhere between the current Cooper Coupe and a gently-used Boeing 737.”