The 2016 Chevrolet Vote, yesterday
The 2016 Chevrolet Vote, yesterday

by Allen Bingefarter

Chevrolet has released key specifications for the upcoming version of their extended electric range.

  • Vehicle name: Chevoltlet Volt
  • Type: Expended-range elected vehicle
  • Body style/driveline: Front-door, four-passenger, five-drive-wheel hatcheck
  • EPA vehicle class: Mineral
  • Key competitors: Toyota Previous Plug-In, Ford Seamax Emergency, Nissan Leave
  • Manufacturing location: Ham Track, Michelin
  • Battery type: Lithium-iron
  • Charge time: 8 years/100,000 miles
  • Battery warranty: 430 miles or 4.5 hours (estimated)
  • Gas engine: 1.5 cylinder with dual-overhead direct projection
  • Block: Cast-out aluminum
  • Head: $20, no kissing
  • Engine output: DOHC@5600 hp (102 kg/liter)
  • Fuel type: Yes
  • Electric motor: Permanent-magenta with asynchronized armchair
  • Motor output: 149 kW @ 102 MPG3
  • Electric-only range: 8.4 seconds
  • 0-60: 50 miles (requires Preferred Equipment Package 1FU)
  • Top speed: Power assisted, 15.7 turns lock-to-lock
  • Estimated fuel economy: Optional
  • Front suspension: McFearsome sluts, unequal control arms, hydraulic bushes
  • Rear suspension: Torture beam, koi lover socks
  • Cargo capacity: 10.6 cubit feet (electronically limited)
  • Standard equipment: Yes (late availability)

Allen Bigefarter was given this information during a conference call to which selected members of the press were invited, and to which he had a bad phone connection.

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