Volkswagen today unveiled the Beetle Hitler Edition, a limited-run model that commemorates the 75th anniversary of the world-renowned People’s Car.
“We think it’s important to celebrate the origin of the world’s most beloved automobile,” said Volkswagen spokessprecher Joe Goebbels. “Most people associate Herr Hitler with his bloodlust for world domination and the extermination of Jews, gays, gypsies, and other undesireables. Unfortunately, what’s often forgotten is the Führer’s visionary vision of affordable automobile transportation for the masses, a goal that the the modern-day Volkswagen Auto Group continues to pursue.”
Ford is reportedly in negotiations with Volkswagen to sell a rebadged version of the Beetle Hitler Edition. “It is well known that our founder, Henry Ford, was in broad agreement with the policies of Mr. Hitler,” explains Ford’s Spokesguy for the Interwebs, Scott Monty-Python, adding, “Er… about building a car that everyone could afford, that is.”
Volkswagen says the Beetle Hitler Edition will be powered by a special version of the 2.5 liter 5-cylinder engine, retuned to burn gasoline with a ruthless efficiency. A turbocharged version, to be called the Beetle SS, is reportedly in the works. Options include turn semaphores shaped like saluting arms and a navigation system that can be programmed to go east and west at the same time. Handling will be enhanced by a unique sport-tuned suspension designed by Porsche, which will then deny all association with the car and never talk about it again, ever.
The Beetle Hitler Edition will reportedly be difficult to start and take a long time to warm up, but will then run strongly for twelve years before self-destructing.