General Motors Corporation announced today that it would recall a large number of cars and trucks which may be related to the current spread of the ebola virus.
“We have reason to believe that several of the latest ebola victims either owned, drove, rode in, or saw a General Motors vehicle,” said GM representative Eric Beauregard “E-Bo” LaVirus. “In the interest of safety, we think it’s best to assume that the outbreak of this dreadful disease is somehow related to our products.”
Though LaVirus said there was no clinical evidence tying the outbreak to GM’s cars and trucks, he said there was plenty of opportunity for the vehicles to be involved in the spread of the disease.
“Perhaps someone on the air conditioning assembly line had ebola and drooled into the pollen filters,” he told Autiblopnik.com, “or maybe ebola was inadvertently engineered into the cars as some sort of a cost-saving measure. You never really know, but here at General Motors, we’ve learned to assume the worst.”
Asked how many vehicles GM would recall in relation to the ebola scare, LaVirus said the number had yet to be determined, but that “it will probably be a figure in the neighborhood of all of them.”
“Of course, we have no firm proof that these vehicles were the source of the current ebola outbreak,” LaVirus added. “But if there’s one thing the past couple of years has taught us, it’s that if something goes horribly wrong in the world, it’s probably GM’s fault.”