Detroit Auto Show moving to Florida

Detroit Auto Show in the winter, yesterday

Detroit Auto Show in the winter, yesterday

Organizers of the Detroit Auto Show said the show will move to Florida for 2014.

“The Detroit Auto Show is now in its 105th year,” said show spokesman Larry Naias, “and the cold and snow are really getting to be a problem. Given the show’s advanced age, moving it to a warmer environment is the only sensible decision. If the Detroit Auto Show were to slip on the ice and break its hip, it could be out of commission for a while, and the Chicago Auto Show is just waiting for an opportunity to step in and take over. We can’t risk that happening.”

Asked if moving the show away from the automotive manufacturing capital of the United States was a wise idea, Naias said he wasn’t concerned.

“Sure, the show attracts a lot of Detroit residents,” he said, “but it’s not like anyone from Michigan is going to complain about going to Florida in the middle of January.”

Naias said the show’s organizers considered moving the show to Arizona, where the costs would be significantly lower, but ruled out the desert state “because it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere and the people are batshit insane.”

“Moving to Florida will make it easier for the Detroit Auto Show to host attendees in January,” he explained, “and it can spend the rest of the year relaxing and playing golf.”

© Autoblopnik — Photo by Paul Sancya/Associated Press, not exactly used with permission

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